Saturday, June 14, 2008

Tiger! (neeeeed to go potty!)

Trip Report: Day Two

I went to the US open of Golf today in San Diego with my cousin Steve, my Dad, and Randy B. I made only two goals for myself for the day:

1. Don't get dehydrated, even though water will be ridiculously expensive.
2. Watch Tiger Woods hit a golf ball.

Never did I anticipate that these two goals would come so directly into conflict.

My plan started well, as I purchased a water bottle early on and we watched the early starters (in golf, the leaders tee off last, the second place guys, second to last, etc.). As the day went on we eventually settled into the first row of the grandstands on hole 10. Tiger was still a few hours away, but it was a great location, so we decided to hunker down and wait for the greatest golfer ever to walk the planet to come to us, rather than chase him around.

In a related story, I was on my third bottle of water.

As Tiger neared, my discomfort slowly started to ratchet up, much to the delight of my cousin, who was only slightly sympathetic. Unfortunately, the longer I waited to leave my seat in the grandstands to find a "men's room", the more difficult it would be to get my prime seat back... After careful thought, I decided that one way or another, I WAS NOT LEAVING MY SEAT UNTIL TIGER HAD PASSED THROUGH.

Soon my growing discomfort had turned to genuine pain/panic. Visions of Daphne's accidents started to creep into my mind, and Steve started to make jokes featuring my soiled pants and national TV. After a few more groups played through at an agonizingly slow pace, finally it was Tiger's turn to tee off. The swell of people that accompanied him was astonishing, a wave of humanity focused on one demigod. Tiger finally, finally came through the 10th, making a routine par. I immediately excused myself in a mad dash to the port-o-johns, but I hadn't factored in Tiger's humanity-wave. I was stuck, and I had to go, worse than I have ever had to go. Probably worse than I have had to go since I was two or three years old, anyway.

Suffice it to say that I did eventually make it out of my dilema, and not only did I not get dehydrated, I also got to see Tiger.

Oh, by the way, after he left our stakeout on the 10th, Tiger went on to have what Sportscenter later called "the most memorable 18 holes of his career," and we saw a chip-in on hole 17 that will be on the "Tiger Wood's all-time highlights" reel someday, and which I will probably tell James about ad-nauseam when he gets a little older. (see link: ) But I'll also have the distinct and unforgetable memory of an even bigger struggle than Tiger vs. the field... Tiger vs. Pete's bladder.


PS - off to Singapore tomorrow

1 comment:

Steven said...

To be fair, I did offer up my empty water bottle for Pete to use as a "vessel" in the event that the pressure got to be too much; but like Tiger, he withstood the pressure like a champ and could not be deterred from accomplishing his goals :-) Great to see you again, Pete.